Story Tellin'

It's a common motif within my vast family to have skills in visual artistry, but it's not uncommon to dabble in something else. While the better half of my family are varied artists, and older cousin of mine took up politics, my sister is a journalist, and I often find myself acting along with my cousin.
This cousin just so happens to be the one in "The Purchase of the Century," (the one who tripped whilst returning the iTunes card) if you've read that one, and the one who helped lead the way to The Pochito Story in "The Making of Pochito," which are both found within varied journals I have.
If you have read these, great, you already know we spend most of our free time developing various things in entertainment. If you haven't, well, this cousin of mine and I playfully sketch designs for silly little video games and write scripts for home-made mini-movies quite often.
Today, him and I made yet another one of these mini-movies, called "Phyllis." This is just another day for us, makin' movies and drinking soda. And their house is oddly void of soda. (Sorry, I killed that joke, but I'm in a literary mood and just saying "and they're all out of soda" would have killed me.)
Hopefully, you guys know me enough to know that I'm terrible at writing narrative stories and as such I'd much rather write a synopsis on the production, so... That's what I'll do.

FIZZ ED.

It was perhaps in December of 2009. I even want to say it was on Christmas, because I remember pretty decently that I, along with a few friends of the host's sons, were attending a party at my cousin's house, which are typically only held twice a year: One around the beginning of May, and one on Christmas. It couldn't have been May, because my dad kept egging me on to wear a sweater since we were filming outside...
Essentially it was a spin off of a show my cousins had seen, and we would be part of a gym class. The movie had many names, among them being "P.E. Class," "Physical Ed.," "Phys. Ed.," and so on, but due to the characters being people who were supposed to act less than educated, we dumbed it down to "Fizz Ed." in the end.
There were supposed to be multiple episodes with each one focusing on a different sport. For the pilot, we picked soccer. The second episode was supposed to be basketball, but we got bored of the show and never finished production of this episode. I only remember one line from it, me sadly saying "Why do they always cut me off?" while being cutoff halfway through the sentence.
The parts were simple, since we only had to act out one person each: My dirty-blonde-haired cousin, whom I mention fairly often and is mentioned above, was to play a person who kindly paid for all of our sports equipment. Albeit rich, the equipment he supplied us was cheap, mainly consisting of broken and damaged items. I forget his name, but pardon me, this was two years ago... One line I remember was him saying "We have wonderful sports equipment." while the camera panned to a dinged up and deflated soccer ball.
Cousin's twin brother and one of his friends were going to play brothers who were abandoned by their parents, raised by monkeys, and due to this were uneducated severely. They played the two boys in the Fizz Ed. class. Some lines I remember include them saying "We were raised by monkeys" in unison and "I think our coach's name is 'Harry Ballsack.'"
Another one of their friends was playing Terry Brackenshaw, our Fizz Ed. coach. He had a form of accent that I can't name, but it sounded like Texan crossed with Southern. ...That's it, basically.
I was to play Millisent, or at least that was my full first name. Throughout the show I got called "Milly," "Milweed," "Millipede," and so on. I played a social outcast (which as you'll see is the only role I ever play in their movies) who's only friend was a sock monkey named Frank who I stole from a poor girl while she wasn't looking rescued from a shelter. He supposedly had a gun in his arm because I was supposed to be paranoid. I'd been hiding from the government for four years before Terry Brackenshaw found me.
Brackenshaw was basically rounding up people to be in a P.E. class so they could compete in a tournament and he could win, but the only people he could find were a group of "kids, but I think they are ree-tardid," as Brackenshaw put it. He taught them the basics of soccer and watched them play, but in the end essentially we were trippin' balls in the most literal of terms. Half of the time I was instructed to trip over the ball when it came to my side.
The end credits featured the monkey twins spinning around on a rope tied to a tree while "You Spin Me Right Round" played.

---

Tragena's Tragedy

Our production team was cut down to three people playing many parts. The only people we had were blonde cousin, his twin drummer cousin and I, but we wound up having to play 5-6 parts. Thankfully I only played one part throughout the entire movie, even if I was the only girl there.
The main character, Tragena, was a social outcast (again) who was only at a party because the host's parents knew her parents and made the host invite her. She was played by me and didn't have any lines besides a throaty raspy grumble whenever someone approached her in her stuffed animal sanctuary set up on the couch.
We tried to make it as overly dramatic and nonchalantly comedic as possible. Basically the entire movie can be summed up like this: Tragena gets stared at by a bunch of people until one person seems to be interested in her, being extremely kind to her and such until she dies of heart attack and seizure at the same time. The death was extremely fake and we pointedly make sure you could tell I was merely lying on the floor and breathing heavily in every scene I died.
At first, I was criticized for laughing during this scene, but when I made cousin and cousin try it,  a certain level of respect was reached...

---

Phyllis

We only had blonde cousin and I now, along with his mother and dog taking part in scenes of about 5 seconds each. Oddly, the only person who had to play two people was I, and even then we made sure you could tell I was acting the both of them out at the same time due to the fact that they only ever appeared together in the same scene, never apart.
Phyllis is a socially unaccepted (AGAIN BRO) girl who aspires to be a wizard and is very successful at it, as she has a habit of turning her brother, Timmy, into a dog fairly often. Her dad, however, has a different idea and only wants his daughter to be normal.

I cannot express in words how awkward it was to film the scenes in which my cousin played my dad. Thank goodness there were only two of them. I swear, I often felt like Draco if my cousin was Voldemort in that one scene in the last movie... You know what I'm talking about *coughcough* right?

It starts with epic music playing in the background while I practice magic in a nerdy fashion. The camera switches to outside, where a passing bystander notices my antics and makes a hasty retreat away from the premises. Then we see my "dad" reading a magazine, noticing I've turned my brother into a dog once again, and rushing to my room where an argument is held.

Everything I just mentioned had no accent attached to it, however for the rest of the movie, we've accidentally switched to British, starting with my own version of "Avada Kedavra," "Avara Capybara."

In rage I turn him into a shoe. One British monologue in which I describe how I "accidentally the refrigerator," I try to turn my dad back from his shoe form, but I'm unsuccessful due to my wand having no batteries (don't ask). I ask my hat for help (basically I place my hand up into my pointy hat and turn it into a puppet) and it trolls my by commanding a dance party. One montage later, I demand my hat give me batteries.

"Mister Hat, that didn't do diddly-squat!"
"I know, but it was fun."
"So where are the batteries you promised?"
"You know... Where the batteries are..."
"Which is...?"
"JUST LOOK IN THE REMOTE!"

I prepare to bring my dad back from his she form but I'm interrupted by... My dad? He's angry that I'm still practicing magic, but I explain that I've given up my days as a wizard.

"I now know that I can't be a wizard. I now aspire to be DAVID BOWIE!"

---

Our next production has been agreed to be directed by me. I'm planning an ASDFMovie-styled group of short skits. Any ideas?

By the way, ASDFMovie 4 came out recently, check it out. *does internet*